Not Again, Notting Hill

It comes around faster every year doesn’t it? No, not Christmas. That other annual outbreak of bonhomie: the Notting Hill Carnival. “Carnival” (as us Londoners like to call it) turns sixty this year, and is Europe’s largest street festival. Weather permitting, the bank holiday weekend should see around two million people take to the streets of London; all cheerfully celebrating a parade of Caribbean culture.

I should say from the outset, inveterate misanthrope though I am, I have absolutely no objection to other people enjoying themselves - provided miserable bastards like myself are not obliged to join in. That is my stance on most progressive enthusiasms. Whichever gender you ‘identify’ with, whatever sex you wish to have, whichever drugs get you through the day: you do you, so long as you’re not harming anyone else.

Where I object is the coercion: the demand that the rest of us share the fantasy, pretend we think these are equally legitimate life choices, and vandalise the English language to enforce it.

That’s a test the Notting Hill Carnival fails entirely. Were it not that the event costs millions to police, with such a large mobilisation of the Met Police that the public are asked to think before dialling 999; were it not that nine out of ten residents along the route flee the area; were it not that officers, as a former Scotland Yard DCI put it, are wary of attending and of using stop-and-search for fear of being called “racist”, then it might be a different story. As it is, the usual orgy of drugs, sexual assault and stabbing (along with a soupçon of murder) is a matter of hours away.

The crime figures in isolation do not tell the whole story, since a variety of factors influence the arrest rates. Police presence and willingness to engage, budget, facial recognition cameras, knife arches, attendance and even the weather mediate the data. Even so, carnival devotees can hardly miss the direction of travel. In 2022 there were 209 arrests, 2023 saw 308, 2024 hit 355, and last year cleared the 500 mark at 528. That included 167 drug arrests, 50 offensive weapons, 21 sexual offences and 55 assaults on police. Curiously, 2021 saw no arrests at all, for which we have Chris Whitty to thank.

Policing such an event is obviously a thankless task, and my heart goes out to officers trying to manage overwhelming numbers and high spirits. Sadiq Khan has dramatically increased this year’s funding by £4.66m, specifically in the interest of security and overcrowding. Even so, it has to be said that the policing operation is largely performative. Knife arches installed at strategic checkpoints can be avoided, with attendees not required to pass through them. Facial recognition cameras are limited to approaches and exits, and presumably are not sophisticated enough to see through hoodies and masks. And indeed, this year’s dedicated areas for women and girls subjected to sexual assaults, suggest the Met strategy is damage limitation rather than actual crime prevention.

The unofficial police response is more interesting than the press releases. Officers have previously conceded the event is an “opportunity to commit crime”, with those attending fearful of being “attacked, sexually assaulted or trampled”. In a Met Police Federation survey, 88.6 percent of respondents confessed they felt unsafe. The most infamous quote however, comes from former Scotland Yard DCI, Mike Neville, who alleges that the Notting Hill Carnival is the worst example of two-tier policing:

“If the behaviour of the Notting Hill Carnival was replicated at football matches or any other event it would be banned. You see people openly smoking drugs, abuse of police officers, dancing with female officers to the point of sexual assault. I challenge anybody to do the same thing on the way to a Millwall football game.”

The official view, of course, remains that Carnival is a festival of fun. Hence the safety advice:

“Event organisers advise checking the weather and preparing accordingly. In hot conditions, wear sunscreen, a hat and loose clothing, and drink plenty of water. Waterproofs and comfortable footwear are also recommended in case of rain.”

You’ll notice that stab-vests do not feature.

Like whites and knife crime, I may be in the minority here, but I sense we’re all missing a trick. If the Old Bill, the residents and a generous amount of attendees all treat the event as a criminal amnesty in all but name, why not run it honestly? Cordon it off, remove the pointless police presence, and allow it to run its course.

The sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll could continue unimpeded. The unadulterated pleasures of vibrant diversity would be on full display. Twenty million quid would remain in the Met’s coffers. And the likely death toll would dramatically reduce the NHS waiting list, the welfare spend, and the foreign aid budget in one swift slash of the knife!

Frank Haviland is the Editor of The New Conservative, and the author of Banalysis: The Lie Destroying the West.

(Photograph: David Sedlecký, CC BY-SA 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons)