Your determination to protect your daughters is a lesson to every father. I thank God I haven’t had to go through this with my sons and wonder if I would have had your strength and courage. You will succeed Frank and your girls will be incredibly proud of you.
Mordaunt humour in every line, enjoyed the read as well as truly feeling heartsorry for you Frank. But keep going. It probably looks impossible and desperate right now re your girls but children grow up and begin to think for themselves. One day your girls will know you went to prison for the love of them and they'll want to know more so they’ll be asking questions, not least because they’re YOUR daughters and to them this proves that you never forgot or gave up on them. Women who weaponise children like this are contemptible but I’ve seen them get theirs when their children realise just how they’ve been abused. Just never give up.
It's odd how the pendulum has swung so far towards women after centuries of men automatically get custody of their children if the marriage fell apart. Obviously, in "the olden days" men basically owned their wives and children, along with their dogs and horses, so keeping the kids if the wife misbehaved was the same as keeping the spaniel. However, it's now gone completely the other way - men are now seen as nothing but money providers by the courts, the media and many women. It was wrong that women and children were seen as nothing more than possessions but it's just as wrong that men are now seen as not even worthy of having possessions. It's all part of the Decline and Fall isn't it?
Interesting that it's the same in South Korea as everywhere else! How very modern of them!!!
I was surprised too. My brother-in-law divorced his wife and he got full custody and I think she was basically turfed out of the flat. After actually having done some quick research this morning it turns out that which party is at fault is quite important in Korea. In my brother-in-law's case, his wife had cheated on him more than once and he had enough. That's probably why he 'won' the divorce. I don't necessarily think that cheating would be held very much against a woman in UK divorce courts, given our depraved culture.
Sounds like in Frank's case there was a settled divorce and the problem came afterwards when his wife reneged on the agreement.
I obviously have zero insight into Frank's circumstance, but, generally, marrying a foreigner one has met in the UK, then moving to the wife's place of origin, flips the power dynamic in the relationship on its head. Korea (as well as other asian countries like Japan) is heavily conformist and it isn't that hard to envisage ones spouse rejoining the borg, as it were.
Many people don't know about parental alienation. I only came across it through working with families in the NHS. I'd never heard of the term before. So sorry you're going through this. Laurence Fox has had similar issues with access to his children. It's awful.
Me too Amy. I don’t even remember covering this in psychology, which is odd. Yes I knew about Laurence, I sent him the piece as I knew he’s been going through similar.
Parental alienation is an aspect of narcissistic abuse and neither is discussed in our narcissism enabling culture. My kids were alienated within the 'marriage' but it certainly ramped up after the divorce and my once close daughter refused to see me and has now chosen the path of narcissistic darkness of her mother (it's how narcissism reproduces down the generations). My son was weaponised against me by the age of 11 and now at 33 is also just like his mother. It seems to be an individual choice whether kids can see through and overcome this abuse - something about inner strength of spirit, past life gifts - and I hope your daughters will come through. For more on alienation take a look at, someone I consider a world expert, Craig Childress' book Foundations and his work in general (he has a questionnaire which, from kids' answers, can diagnose alienation narc abuse).
I think I'm beginning to understand the graph that shows how divergent political views have become between men and women in S Korea. I saw the graph on Amy Gallagher's substack.
Your determination to protect your daughters is a lesson to every father. I thank God I haven’t had to go through this with my sons and wonder if I would have had your strength and courage. You will succeed Frank and your girls will be incredibly proud of you.
What a lovely thing to say, thank you!
Mordaunt humour in every line, enjoyed the read as well as truly feeling heartsorry for you Frank. But keep going. It probably looks impossible and desperate right now re your girls but children grow up and begin to think for themselves. One day your girls will know you went to prison for the love of them and they'll want to know more so they’ll be asking questions, not least because they’re YOUR daughters and to them this proves that you never forgot or gave up on them. Women who weaponise children like this are contemptible but I’ve seen them get theirs when their children realise just how they’ve been abused. Just never give up.
Thank you so much Nicola.I will keep fighting
It's odd how the pendulum has swung so far towards women after centuries of men automatically get custody of their children if the marriage fell apart. Obviously, in "the olden days" men basically owned their wives and children, along with their dogs and horses, so keeping the kids if the wife misbehaved was the same as keeping the spaniel. However, it's now gone completely the other way - men are now seen as nothing but money providers by the courts, the media and many women. It was wrong that women and children were seen as nothing more than possessions but it's just as wrong that men are now seen as not even worthy of having possessions. It's all part of the Decline and Fall isn't it?
Interesting that it's the same in South Korea as everywhere else! How very modern of them!!!
I was surprised too. My brother-in-law divorced his wife and he got full custody and I think she was basically turfed out of the flat. After actually having done some quick research this morning it turns out that which party is at fault is quite important in Korea. In my brother-in-law's case, his wife had cheated on him more than once and he had enough. That's probably why he 'won' the divorce. I don't necessarily think that cheating would be held very much against a woman in UK divorce courts, given our depraved culture.
Sounds like in Frank's case there was a settled divorce and the problem came afterwards when his wife reneged on the agreement.
I obviously have zero insight into Frank's circumstance, but, generally, marrying a foreigner one has met in the UK, then moving to the wife's place of origin, flips the power dynamic in the relationship on its head. Korea (as well as other asian countries like Japan) is heavily conformist and it isn't that hard to envisage ones spouse rejoining the borg, as it were.
Many people don't know about parental alienation. I only came across it through working with families in the NHS. I'd never heard of the term before. So sorry you're going through this. Laurence Fox has had similar issues with access to his children. It's awful.
Me too Amy. I don’t even remember covering this in psychology, which is odd. Yes I knew about Laurence, I sent him the piece as I knew he’s been going through similar.
Parental alienation is an aspect of narcissistic abuse and neither is discussed in our narcissism enabling culture. My kids were alienated within the 'marriage' but it certainly ramped up after the divorce and my once close daughter refused to see me and has now chosen the path of narcissistic darkness of her mother (it's how narcissism reproduces down the generations). My son was weaponised against me by the age of 11 and now at 33 is also just like his mother. It seems to be an individual choice whether kids can see through and overcome this abuse - something about inner strength of spirit, past life gifts - and I hope your daughters will come through. For more on alienation take a look at, someone I consider a world expert, Craig Childress' book Foundations and his work in general (he has a questionnaire which, from kids' answers, can diagnose alienation narc abuse).
Sorry to hear that Edward, and many thanks for the tip. I will definitely follow that up. Atvb
This is why we have 'Fathers for Justice' in this country. Good on you for resisting Frank.
The maternal cruelty must be hard to bear.
Thanks Stephen! Agreed, F4J doing great work.
Shocking. But it is commendable that you manage to find some humour amongst all of this.
Thanks Darren
I think I'm beginning to understand the graph that shows how divergent political views have become between men and women in S Korea. I saw the graph on Amy Gallagher's substack.