19 Comments
Sep 30Liked by Frank Haviland

Considering how awful that was just to read, I have no idea how hard that would be to endure. I’m sorry Frank.

I truly hate what feminist lunacy has done to us all - women included. It’s divisive unintellectual, non-academic bullshit. And the large numbers of people who don’t understand that depress me greatly. Your article is a great public service.

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author

So kind, thank you. I agonised over publishing it for a while, as I don't like my daughters being in the public eye (however vaguely). In the end, I think the subject is too important. Atb

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Thanks Frank, and you’re most welcome. I’m not surprised to hear it, I’m sure it felt like an impossible decision whether to publish that or not. I for one am very glad you did. Speaking out bravely (as you do so often) seems to be all we can do these days, and sadly is more important than at any other point in my lifetime. Thank you again and I wish you luck and good fortune.

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Oct 11·edited Oct 15

But Parental Alienation is not about feminism (an ideology which I wish everyone would drop, btw). Despite what some wish to believe, there are as many women parentally-aliented by their husbands as vice versa.

The issue here is the Cluster-B Personality Disorders. Not feminism. Parental Alienation occurs in settings where one parent is a pathogical Narcissist or Psychopath, and the other parent is a Co-dependent. These two roles feed off one another, until the Narcissist has a flip-out and weaponizes the children. Divorce is generally secondary....just another form of weaponization here. Some instances of Parental Alienation do not even involve divorce at all.

There is a great deal of information out there, Frank, if you do your homework. Advertising one's victim status is allowed just once, to get it off your chest......then you must move on to address the actual issues. Otherwise you and your children will remain stuck. That is just the way it is.

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deletedOct 3
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I’m sorry you have found yourself in a similar position. Awful for you.

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Oh Frank, my heart is bleeding for you. Divorce is just too easy and children are never really considered in any court decisions, regardless of what they say. My brother got a divorce some 35 years ago and, although his then wife was pregnant with their second daughter, nobody ever suggested they might try working through their problems. The wife got everything, absolutely everything. Even the right to his pension which wouldn't be available for at least another 45 years! He was expected to pay for everything because she said she couldn't possibly go back to work and she could "never love again". She went back to work. She got a new fella and he moved in. My brother paid for it all because he couldn't afford to go back to court. He had access to his children from 10am to 4pm every other Sunday.

My brother did everything he was told to and now, all these years later, he sees his daughters and grandchildren whenever he wants and they love him loads.

Your girls need you. Even if it's only on Sundays. So don't give up. Just make sure you stay polite when dealing with your wife! Get yourself a teddy bear to punch when it's all too much!

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author

Haha! That's a great suggestion, I might just do that. Thanks for your care!

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Sep 30Liked by Frank Haviland

I feel truly sorry for you Frank I hope you come out of this with a settlement that is totally unfavourable to your wife.I totally agree with R Smith these women need sorting out.

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author

Thanks Alan, much obliged to you.

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Sep 30Liked by Frank Haviland

So sorry that you're having to endure this awful punishment Frank. It appears that divorce law is now cruelly weighted against fathers. Using the children as instruments of emotional blackmail is appalling behaviour. Your very personal story shines a light on this important issue. I pray that there's a sensible and fair outcome for you.

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Thank you Ruby, your comments mean a lot to me.

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I'm so sorry you're being put through this. It is abuse, not just of the alienated spouse, but of the children. I sincerely hope you and your family can get through this quickly and with as good a settlement as possible.

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Thanks Georgia - that's what I hate the most, that my children are not only being manipulated, but abused. We shall soldier on.

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Oct 4Liked by Frank Haviland

I've been on the child side of this situation. I ended up cutting myself off from my alienating mother as she turned on me after my father. I made the unforgivable mistake of seeing through her and making it known that I saw through her. She made me as much a pariah as she'd made my dad.

When I was six she took me and my two older brothers to the other side of the world from my Aussie dad.

My brothers eventually followed suit in distancing themselves from my mother, but only after years of siding with that regime of a person.

I still get cut to the core almost 40 years after seeing my father crying like a little boy when he was sent away for a second time.

I saw through my mother eventually, even though I was taken in for years. So dig deep and keep fighting. I'm with you all the way on this one.

Greg

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Thanks so much Greg, really appreciate it.

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‘The female of the species is more deadly than the male.’

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deletedOct 3·edited Oct 3
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Oh that’s desperately sad.

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deletedOct 3·edited Oct 3
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Thanks. Regrettably I’m having to look into all sorts of things I never imagined I’d have to know about.

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deletedOct 3
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Absolutely. I think I noted in the piece, and it is certainly recognized that fathers can alienate their children to, it may simply be that mothers have more opportunity because of the likelihood of them winning custody.

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