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Still, it’s Christmas just around the corner.........

Talking of which:

As it's that time of year when all thoughts turn to the birth of the baby Jesus, Chrissy presents and the offers in the booze aisle down at Tesco, it occurs to me that as an atheist I'm missing out on a trick where all the god-botherers of whatever persuasion are coining it hand over fist ... And I'm not.

To that end I am instituting the church of 'Athianity' Donations should be made in large denominational banknotes (except Euros though the Chinese Yuan is more than acceptable as it's the coming 'thing') and posted by registered mail in a plain brown stiff cardboard envelope to the usual address marked 'Strep A Test Kit'

The rules of 'Athianity' are very simple and I've cynically plagiarized the Christian Holy Tome for most of the rules and regs:

First there's the 10 Commandments (6 in practice)

1. Get rid of the first four Christian babblings. Not applicable.

2. Honour thy father and thy mother. Fine, as long as they are worthy of it and aren't complete scumbag types like Fred and Rose West.

3. Thou shalt do no murder. An obvious no-brainer even for those with no brain. (Labour voters, Scots Nationalists. Greens etc.)

4. Thou shalt not commit adultery. A difficult one this especially when it's offered on a plate.

5. Thou shalt not steal. Another no-brainer obvious to anyone or if you're an old gimp like me and can legitimately put it down to a 'lapse of memory' or aged related A.D.D. Google Lady Isobel Barnet for how not to react if you're collared. NEVER admit anything! Acting 'confused' works every time ''Poor old bugger'' BTW It's impossible to secrete a turkey from the frozen section in ones underwear. I've tried it. It chilled my nuts... Always go for fresh! If you're caught explain it's a form of sexual deviancy and you're home and dry.

6. Thou shalt not tell porkies about anything/anyone. Politicians get a free pass on this one.

7. Thou shalt not covet. Another difficult one which often leads back to No.4.

In order to keep it simple for those who endured the Secondary Modern ejukashun system/The Woke/The Gullible ... I've refined ''Athianity'' and distilled it quite nicely down to a single commandment:

1. Try not to be a complete tnuc all of the time. Have a day off now and again.

''Bless me father for I have sinned''.... ;o)

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''It’s simply not right that Black Londoners have less trust and confidence in our police service and it’s something the new Met Commissioner and I are determined to improve together....

To that end we are going to leave them alone to get on with stabbing and shooting each other... Saddo Khant. Trebles all round at the New Scotland Yard Bar!

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Brilliant Frank get better soon

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Thanks Stephanie, I'm hopefully on the mend.

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Excellent as usual. Best regards, Dom

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Thanks Dom, hope all is well with you.

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Morning Frank

Glad to see you are still on top form. Fantastic review of the week.

That water bottle seems pretty inviting too.

Have a good weekend

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All gone now Maggie I'm afraid ;)

Hope you are keeping well.

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